You are desperate. You have looked for a job for months and found nothing. You called all your friends and family, searched job sites, applied at the unemployment office and still…nothing. You pray. You pray hard. “God please.” The baby suddenly cries and you realize you are out of milk. At the grocery store, you run into an old friend you have not seen in years. You chat about old times and life and mention your job situation and he tells you that he recently just spoke to someone who told him of a job that is perfect for you. It is exactly what you love to do. It is in your field and you are qualified. Furthermore, it pays more than you have ever earned and has benefits twice as good as your previous job. You can hardly believe it. If the baby had not cried right then, you would have missed this connection. Wow.

You are overjoyed. You call the contact. It turns out to be a guy you know from school. You shoot the breeze and he invites you in for an interview. The interview goes swell. The second interview happens to be with a woman you met the previous year at a convention. The coincidence is mind boggling. She loves you. “You’ll be great in this position. I’ll call you in three days.”

Three days pass. Nothing. You call. They decided to eliminate the position to save money. Or worse, they decided to hire someone else. You are in the exact same situation as you were before, but now there is a tinge of pain.

“Serendipity,” noun-a chance meeting that leads to something good. “Errendipity,” noun-a chance meeting, occurrence or coincidence, thought to be something good, positive or lucky, that leads… to nothing.” Serendipity is based on an old Persian word for Sri Lanka: Sarendip. Perhaps its slight antithesis should be some unreal or imaginary place-like a mirage. Maybe the word should be “Mirageny” or “Miragenous”-when something you want appears suddenly and unexpectedly in your hand, then vanishes.

The home team is down by one point. Two seconds remain in the game. The press is on. The crowd screams. Your teammate snatches the in-bound ball and passes quickly to you at mid-court. You pivot. You jump. You shoot in milliseconds. Just before the buzzer. The ball arcs in slow-motion straight for the basket. The crowd holds its breath. It looks good. Your heart wants out of your body. The ball hits the rim. Bangs the board. Then the rim again…loops around…and around… and around…and… falls… out. Yes, out, not in. You lose! It was close though. So close. But you lose.

That situation calls for another word we need to create. It is not the same as “Errendipity” or “Mirageny.” Answers to prayers are called miracles. What is the opposite of a miracle? The definition of miracle is “a wonderful occurrence oft attributed to supernatural powers.” What would be an occurrence that appears miraculous, but turns out to be nothing? How about a “Nearacle” -almost a miracle? Or maybe “Miracal”-it looks like a miracle at first glace, but is not. Nearacles produce situations in which people sigh in disappointment. “Sighful” situations. Or maybe something like the opposite of awesome…”Naahsome.”

Life, of course, is full of such Naahsome, Errendipitous, Miragenous Nearacles. When you are trying to make it in Hollywood, exponentially so-the producer that was wild over your screenplay gets fired. The exec that green-lighted your film changes her mind. The label says you cannot do your favorite song. The star you were banking on becomes unavailable. A film similar to yours does bad boxoffice. The star who turned down the role you later booked decides she will do the part after all. Test audiences go boo-no release. Your script sticks in development. Turnaround. They do not renew the option. The suits do not like your rewrite. The label promotes another artist ahead of you again. The financing falls through. It rains in Spain on the plain and the price of rice in China goes through the roof.

The motivational speaker Les Brown says this: “A dream can be nurtured over years and years and then flourish rapidly. Be patient. It will happen for you. Sooner or later, life will get weary of beating on you and holding the door shut on you, and then it will let you in and throw you a real party.”

Les is probably right. But in the meantime, why not learn to thank God for our Nearacles and accept that they too are all part of the gift of life. They are certainly fixtures on the road to your dreams-especially if those dreams include making it in Hollywood.

Update 3/7/2013: (The 2nd edition of  What I Wish I Knew Before I Moved to Hollywood available now exclusively on Kindle for only $4.99. Get yours now. Click here. Kindle e-books can be read on I-phone, I-pod, I-pad, Android, Mac and PC with the free Kindle App.)

Jeremy Piven plays talent Agent Ari Gold in HBO’s Entourage

In part one of this article we discussed the agent’s job as a salesman of talent and what agents need from artists in order to sell them. We discussed the Hollywood marketplace and the delicate balance of presenting yourself to an agent as both “new and original” and “like another successful artist.” And we discussed how writers can get literary agents. In this article, we will take a look at how actors, models, directors, singers and musicians can find an agent to represent them to Hollywood or New York.

The methods of finding literary agents mentioned in part one work for actors, models, directors, and singers also, but the major difference is that these artists need to produce a reel (DVD-5 minutes or less) or a demo CD of their work. A reel consists of edited clips from movies, TV shows or commercials they have filmed or appeared in; photos, performances, or songs they have written. In addition, actors also require a headshot and/or resume. Reels are the calling cards of most performance and film artists. The reel should come after you have done some good work that you believe showcases your talent well.

Once you have one, a great thing to do with your reel is to post it online. YouTube and the related online film/video sites are excellent routes to exposure. Set up your own online presence, such as a blog or website, both inside social network sites and independently and showcase your reel there also. Make sure to include a link to this site on your headshot and business cards. Some musical artist and acting/writing teams (especially comedic sketch teams) create their entire act online, gain an audience and sell their product independently. Such artists are usually in a much better position to approach agents, if agents have not already approached them, because they have demonstrated a market for their art.

Perhaps the most unappreciated bit of advice from agents is that actors and models must know their type. One great way to figure this out, if you have not already, is to watch shows to see characters you feel you relate to or could play. Ask friends and family what type of characters they see you playing and what age range they believe you could pull off. When you know your type, get your headshots made to reflect that type. When you are unified in this way, agents will know how to best market you. Furthermore, they will know that you know who you are, which suggests that others will see you clearly, too. All these unities give an agent confidence to represent you.

What does it mean to be unified in your type? An example would be the actor who knows he has performed best in dramatic roles. He may be a funny guy by nature. He may have made people laugh. But most of the praise he has received has come from dramatic roles. Furthermore, he feels more comfortable acting dramatically. The headshot and reels this actor should get should highlight those dramatic elements. His headshot should look serious and dramatic-not charming, funny, silly or cute. The clips he chooses to include in his reel should also reflect that dramatic side. By doing this, he shows the agent a clear picture of an actor who knows who he is. The agent will have no questions about where that actor fits in and when a dramatic role comes for that actor’s type, the agent will think of him.

What that actor does not want is the agent to be confused about whether the actor will work in a particular role. If one clip on the reel is funny or silly and the other dramatic, the agent will not fit the actor in either category at all. As discussed in part one of this article, think “spork.” You do not want the agent seeing you as a spork or a foon. How often do you prefer to use a spork? An artist, in order for an agent to see how to sell him, must be either a fork or a spoon. An artist who presents himself as a multi-purpose entity will only get called when a multi-purpose role is available and may even be overlooked then.

(One side note for actors-January through the end of February is pilot season in TV. Most theatrical agents are extremely busy at this time and it is not the best time for an actor to submit to them, but it is a great time to get ready to submit.)

Knowing your style, voice and genre holds true for musicians and directors, too. If you can play Country as well as Soul, pick one. Do not send your CD to an agent with both genres on it unless you do not want to hear back from her. If you decide on country, dress country in your photos, etc. It’s not hard if you think of marketing yourself to a particular audience. You can not appeal to everyone, so don’t try.

Directors have to know what stories they can tell. You must chose a genre and stick with it. Your reels must focus on the type of films you make best whether comedy, drama, action, horror; whatever you do best showcase only that one style in your reel. Make sure you clearly convey your ability to tell stories on film. And of course, if you’re a comedy director, your reel better be funny.

The best method for models to find an agent is to post your photo set online at one of the legitimate model search agencies. A little research will quickly reveal which ones are legit-the ones with proven success rates. These sites are viewed by legitimate modeling agents and usually charge a set fee to post your photos (less than $150). You only need to register with one, as the same agents look over each site. With a good set of photos (see the sites for examples) you may find your phone ringing soon.

As with literary agents, make sure to utilize the protection offered by the various guilds. Each guild (except fashion modeling, which has no guild at the present) will have a list of agents that are signed to those guilds. You can insure that the agent you submit your material to is a real agent and not someone looking to take advantage of you by submitting only to signatory agents of the various guilds: Screen Actor’s Guild (SAG), American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA), Director’s Guild of America (DGA), Writer’s Guild of America (WGA), etc. There is a thriving business of fake agents and producers who make money taking advantage of unsuspecting aspirants. The best way to avoid these cons is to use only agents approved by the various artists’ guilds. You may also want to avoid larger agencies right off the bat. New artists can get lost in larger agencies.

Referrals can come from anywhere and are the best method of making sure your reel, headshot and resume are seen. The more work you do, the more people you will meet and the more chances you will have for getting a referral. Make sure to post your reels online and pursue as many legitimate chances to showcase your art as you can. Networking helps, but it usually requires a pretty close relationship to gain an agent referral through networking. Most people in Hollywood are barely holding on to their own agents, so you may find them reluctant to refer you unless they are not only very impressed with you, but very secure in their own career.

A good option for referrals is any casting director, producer or other person who has been impressed with your work. Mentioning to such a person that you are looking for a good agent and asking whom they would recommend could get you the name of an agent they trust. That agent is then more likely to consider you if you mention that producer’s or casting director’s high opinion of the agent. This is not considered a referral but a suggestion, yet it is legitimate, easy to get, and will likely result in the agent considering you.

Finally, entering competitions, film festivals, posting your reel and your work online and regularly submitting to agents is the day-to-day work of advancing your artistic career. Always do your art. Whatever you do, do not wait for an agent. Produce your own play, CD or short film. Many people have found their way into the business by doing so. If you do your art well and consistently, agents have a way of finding you. And remember, getting an agent is not the end of the road. Even after you land an agent, you must always work at marketing yourself, meeting new people and doing at your craft. Waiting around for your new agent to call usually results in you having a shorter career than you planned.

Update 3/7/2013: (The 2nd edition of  What I Wish I Knew Before I Moved to Hollywood available now exclusively on Kindle for only $4.99. Get yours now. Click here. Kindle e-books can be read on I-phone, I-pod, I-pad, Android, Mac and PC with the free Kindle App.)

The usual route to finding a talent agent involves sending out headshots or reels (if you are an actor or model) or query letters and screenplays (if you are a writer) or query letters and reels (if you are a director or producer) or CDs (if you are a musician).

The key to being represented as an artist is for an agent to be convinced that he or she can sell you. In my book, “I Followed My Bliss to Bankruptcy, What I Wish I Knew Before I Moved to Hollywood,” I discuss how most agency rejection comes, not because of a lack of talent, but because an agent cannot clearly see how to sell the artist. This is the central hurdle artists need to overcome.

What does it mean for an agent to believe he can sell you? It means that he clearly sees where you fit in the business. He must either know someone looking buy what you are selling or he must believe that he can convince someone to buy you because you represent a type that is in demand.

What many people do not understand about Hollywood is that it is not just about talent. You may be a very talented actor, writer, director, or even a strikingly beautiful model, but that does not mean an agent will believe he can sell you. What is important to understand is that the agent’s job is a marketing job. They would do well to change their names from talent agents to marketing agents. The best way to understand what an agent looks for and how they do their job is to look at how other products are sold in other industries.

Many artists pride themselves on being different, new, or innovative. They have written a screenplay like no other. They have a style like no one you have ever seen before. From a marketing perspective such newness can spell disaster. How hard is it to get someone to buy something they have ever heard of before? And how expensive is it to get people to know and understand something brand new? Will it work? Does it last? Who can fix it? Will it be around in the future? Does it do what it claims? Is it worth my money? Why buy that when I can buy the one I have used for years? If it is so great, how come no one ever thought of it before?

One example I recently came across was in Bed Bath and Beyond. I was standing in line with my daughter and saw there was an item on display that claimed to replace dryer sheets. From all appearances, it was a small pink rubber ball with little dull spikes on it. It claimed to last for years and to save hundreds of dollars in fabric softener. They were selling a set of two for $9.95.

When we see something like that we can have different opinions. Some of us will buy it based on the novelty of it-we like new things and want to try them out. If they work, great; we will tell our friends. If they do not, cool; we may or may not tell our friends. But the vast majority of people will only come to buy or use a new item after it has been proven-after a few demonstration ads on TV or a segment on the Today Show where some expert claims the dryer ball to be the greatest thing since hamburgers. Over time, more may come on board if the new thing proves to be better than what they are using. That is why when dryer sheets first came out, they mailed them free to millions of people to try in their own homes. Through actual experience, they won people over.

New and different to an agent is very much like the dryer ball. Will it sell? How long? What is the market? How do I sell it and where? What are the risks to my reputation for recommending it if it is not a hit?

If, however, an item is similar to known successful brands, there is more faith the item will sell. That is why there are tons of MP3 players on the market. The Ipod may have been the first and may still be the best selling, but the fact that people know there is a market for Ipods or vampire book or coffee chains, means the chances of developing more and more to reach different segments is possible. Make your MP3 player hold more, costs less, play more formats, etc, and you can steal off a bit of business from Apple.

But, on the other hand, if your MP3 player costs the same, holds the same, and does the same as Ipod, why would anyone bring yours to market? The only reason would be if there is such a demand that Ipod can not keep up. Such is the case with the Twilight Saga. People can read books faster than Stephanie Meyer can write them. So to fill the gap between her releases, there has sprung up a slew of teen angst vampire love books all over Barnes and Noble. Some of these “sagas” have four, five or six books in the series already. They sit on the shelves next to Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, awaiting the wave of dedicated vampire love story reading girls and ladies to crave again. They are designed similarly to the Twilight books, but promise a bit more sex, more abs or more grit. They take place in college instead of high school, or in the office, or a hospital. You get the point. They are “like Twilight, but different enough to stave off lawsuits.” Likewise, an actor who fits the same type as Taylor Lautner, Keira Knightley, or Natalie Portman could more easily get booked based on the number of films made for actors of that type and the fact that Taylor, Keira and Natalie can not possibly do all those roles themselves.

An agent looks for a client in the same way that any marketer looks at a product it wants to sell. That is why fourteen agents passed on Twilight before one finally accepted it. Twilight was the first rule breaker to get though. Afterwards, every agent went looking for something like Twilight-that is, until the market flooded. Once it floods, being able to sell “another teenage vampire love story” becomes difficult and all the agents go on to the next thing.

So, how do you apply this information to help you get an agent? Let us tackle this by craft. Each discipline has its own angles that lead to agents.

If you are a writer, write the best screenplay you can in the genre you enjoy writing the most. Then write another in the same genre. Many writers make the mistake of thinking the way to impress Hollywood is to show their versatility. In reality, it is a surefire way to confuse an agent and even lose representation if you already have it. Agents and studios need to know who you are and what you do. You either do comedy, drama or action, romance, adventure, etc. You do not do one for one script and another for the next. Being a one trick pony keeps the agent from being confused when he is talking about you. Agents can sell forks and they can sell spoons, but they can not sell sporks or foons because no one buys them. No one buys them because films cost too much money to experiment with. So choose your genre carefully because, if you make it as a writer, you will be writing that genre for a while.

Next, get your screenplay out to agents, producers, and contests. Your agent and producer list can come from the Writer’s Guild of America West (WGAW), which can be found on their website. The WGA lists shows agents and producers who are open to receiving unsolicited screenplays. You can send copies to them and follow up with emails and phone calls. Placing or winning a well respected writing contest will also open doors for you to connect with agents, lawyers, producers and other executives. Such connections can lead to referrals and it is always easier to get an agent via a referral.

Referrals are the best way to get an agent and referrals can come from anywhere. A friend of a relative could get someone to read your screenplay. If you studied writing formally and impressed your professors, most likely early referrals will come from them. A producer who liked your work, but did not feel it right for their company might be willing to refer you to an agent. Or you could hire a lawyer to represent you and he could recommend an agent. All of these are legitimate ways to be referred to an agent.

In the meantime, it can help to start a blog and put your writing out into the world. Get people interested in your stories and perhaps even write for a web series. Doing so can grab the attention of agents who browse the web looking for talent regularly. With the advent of the web and blogging, you can create and instantly publish your stories to a world-wide audience and demonstrate your marketability if you are having trouble convincing agents to rep you. And like the free dryer sheets in the mail, giving away some of what you have can show the quality and style you bring to the table as well develop your fan base.

Although many of these methods apply to actors, models, musicians, and directors as well, we will take a look at those artists in the next article as they have other unique needs to address.

Update 3/7/2013: (The 2nd edition of  What I Wish I Knew Before I Moved to Hollywood available now exclusively on Kindle for only $4.99. Get yours now. Click here. Kindle e-books can be read on I-phone, I-pod, I-pad, Android, Mac and PC with the free Kindle App.)